Weyland TV
Spectrum is planning to drop 22 channels including Weyland TV. That means you won't be able to watch your favorite shows like Chest Bursters
[montage of chests exploding]
They're saying Chest Bursters's not a show, it's just hour after hour of impregnated men having their chests burst open, with alien larvae busting out of shit guts and hitting deck.
They're saying its impossible that so many Weyland missions encounter unkillable xenomorphs... I don't know what to tell ya bud! I'm just shooting the missions and showing the ones where they break quarantine and all die horrible deaths!
I didn't rig shit! I didn't rig shit!!! I've been waiting a long time for people to land on LV426. I didn't fucking do this!!
The guys at Spectrum said "We admire its purity". They said that to me at a dinner!
Call Spectrum and say I'm not worried about it! I'm not worried about any of it!!
This galaxy's so fucking fucked up.. I'm done!
(workshopped with @slasherepoch)